This is why you should always…

…WEAR A HELMET!

Pop Quiz!

The neighbor of mine who mounted this stuffed beaver in their picture window is…

a. an enthusiast of aquatic rodent taxidermy.
b. an Oregon State University graduate.
c. insane!

It's time for an Oko-tober Fest!

Only the top left motto is real!

Okotoks is a town in Alberta, Canada. It recently unveiled a humble new tourism motto:

“There are a number of things to do in Okotoks.” 

The folks at the Calgary Herald thought that was pretty funny, and they came up with their own riffs on it!

"A Short Symbolic Film" (starring me, as I begin a new project!)

Oh, just forget the whole thing.

True Story!

Via Cache Mania.

At 10 PM last night, while walking home from the Hollywood Theater, I spied two bearded men on the deserted south side of the pedestrian overpass.

They were moving furtively and dressed all in black, complete with knit caps and headlamps.

Despite my better judgment, I approached: “Hey guys, what’s up?”

The two men exchanged a look, then the closer one faced me, his eyes flicking up and down the empty street. “I really shouldn’t tell you . . .”

My pulse quickened—were they taggers? Bad guys arranging a drug drop? Hipster ninjas? (It didn't help that the film I'd just seen was "Nightmare Alley.")

“. . . but we’re geocaching.”

Geocaching?!

So I made a citizen’s arrest and waited for the authorities to arrive. Later, the police officers told me, “Good job—these guys are hard to cache.”

(Okay, I made that last bit up!)

So you're saying it's Friday?

I never thought about it that way.

Via.

Dinosaurs didn't read. Now they're extinct. Coincidence?

You can do it!

Just kidding—you really can't!

Is it too early for me to be thinking about Halloween costumes?

I thought so.

"How Not to Trash Talk"—with Captain America

But wait, Cap! If only ONE of you is going to walk out of there, and it ISN'T you, doesn't that mean you're going to lose the fight?

Wait—I've been doing it WRONG?

How to Pee by Todd Spector, M.D.

How tired was I this morning?

Let's just say that our dog sure gave me a funny look when I filled his bowl with oatmeal.

It's really important that you watch this tired bulldog fall asleep.

Told ya!

This story gives me hope for the future!

Via.

The reactions people have after I tell them my novel's not out till 2016

Happy Tuesday…AAAAH!

(Sadly, I can't figure out WHO originally took this photo.)

The Emu War was inhumane because it made emus feel "ostrich-sized"

The Emu War was a real thing! (And if that joke in the post title was too lame for you, the explanation is below.

"Why are you looking at me that way? I'm not going to do anything."

"Sucker!"

The First Day of School:

“Oh, hi, I was just admiring your classroom door.”
“Thank you! Are you in my class?”
“No, but I would like to—”
“BEGONE, MUGGLE.”

Classroom door decoration by middle school teacher Stephanie Stephens.