TGIT

It's Friday, which means TGIT—thank goodness I tweet!

SETTING: A birthday party. "So then the late Bart King—" "Hey, I'm right here!" "And you're not very punctual, are you?" ". . ."

— Bart King (@BartKing) June 4, 2015

"Why're people just standing here looking at it? If you're not going to take a picture, get out!" —Girl in the crowd to see "The Mona Lisa"

— Bart King (@BartKing) June 11, 2015

Working at home—alone—I've gotten in the habit of not closing the bathroom door. Yet when people ARE over, do I alter my behavior? *ahem*

— Bart King (@BartKing) June 11, 2015

"Bart, why are you surrounded by armed escorts who are happily grinning?" "Cuz I wanted to be guardedly optimistic." *does a pop-and-lock*

— Bart King (@BartKing) June 10, 2015

This tidbit from today's paper is cracking me up. http://t.co/YaxSSj4K35 pic.twitter.com/OiMtKHixOK

— Bart King (@BartKing) June 10, 2015