In sharing data on the approximately 50,000 births in Oregon last year, it divulges that among the least common names for girls was "God" and "ESPN."
Of course, the parental units have failed to be the real originals they fancy themselves. Think of the millions of people who watch ESPN! A much less obvious choice would have been ESPN2.
It was undoubtedly a man who named li'l ESPN, and he's a throwback to an earlier, less enlightened age. Up until the mid-20th century, men had much more influence over choosing names for their kids, and the results were not good. Sure, mothers were often responsible for dismal choices like Oswald, Lucretia, and Hazel, but you can count on more men than women to give out “funny” names.
For example, how many dads have wanted to have a son whose middle name was “Danger”? Answer: More than you think.
But here’s the problem. Studies show that people with odd and ugly names do more poorly in school and are both less popular and more likely to have emotional problems. (Hey, don’t look at me. I’m doing fine. Just fine.)
In fact, I’m doing WAY better than the American kids from the past named Helen Troy, Goblin Fester, Cheese Caeser (sic), and Garage Empty. (Goblin Fester? I actually sort of like that!) Historians who have gone through census records have also found that people have named their babies Ogre, Wrath, Lucifer, Medusa, and Ghoul.
But ESPN? What is the next most likely cable channel or media outlet to provide some unlucky kid with a namesake?