August 15, 2018

That was embarrassing... I forgot the video link!

To make up for not posting my video on the previous post, I have done two things:
1. I posted the video on the previous post!
2. I am including two motivational back-to-school posters below. Enjoy!

August 8, 2018

The Pocket Guide to Spy Stuff on AM Northwest

This morning, I was lucky enough to be interviewed by Helen Raptis on AM Northwest about my new book . . . check it!

July 18, 2018

Anyone want a free book?

Hey, a new printing of The Pocket Guide to Games hits the shelves next month, at the same time as the updated edition of The Pocket Guide to Spy Stuff. 😲

There's a free book giveaway for both at GoodReads. Just click on the links below and hit the "Enter Giveaway" button. Good luck! 😇

July 12, 2018

I know this is embarrassing for both of us...

... but the new edition of The Pocket Guide to Spy Stuff comes out next month. And not to brag, but you’ve never seen anything like it!

LEGAL NOTE: You may have seen something like it. However, this *updated* version is stuffed with expanded material on timely topics like misinformation, propaganda, and spy-jinks! Plus, jokes. Jokes are good.

And pre-orders are even better! 😇
Indiebound  Powell’s  Amazon  Barnes & Noble

July 6, 2018

The World's Worst Beach Reads!

A local bookstores, Powell's Books on Hawthorne, has a funny window display up called "Worst Beach Reads":
See, the idea is that these are the LAST books you'd want to read (or even see!) at the beach. With that in mind, here are some of my top Worst Beach Reads. And these are all REAL BOOKS!

·      Melanoma: It Started with a Freckle, David L. Stanley
·      Hot X: Algebra Exposed! Danica McKellar
·      Embarrassing Moments in German and How to Avoid Them,
   Noah J. Jacobs
·      Tidal Wave or Tsunami? Kelly Doudna
·      How to Prepare a Texas Parole Packet Lawyer X
·      Stung! On Jellyfish Blooms and the Future of the Oceans,
   Lisa-ann Gershwin
·      The Book of Marmalade: Its Antecedents, Its History and Its Role in
  the World Today, C. Anne Wilson
·      Bum Bags and Fanny Packs, Jeremy Smith
·      Evidence-Based Bunion Surgery, Paul D. Dayton (editor)
·      Sand: The Never-Ending Story, Michael Welland
·      Crocheting Adventures with Hyperbolic Planes, Daina Taimina
·      How to Train Goldfish Using Dolphin Training Techniques
   C. Scott Johnson
·      Castration: The Advantages and the Disadvantages,
   Victor T. Cheney
·      A Stingray Bit My Nipple! True Stories from Real Travelers,
   Erik Torkells


June 27, 2018

An anonymous source shared this letter from a local college to its graduating seniors:

Dear Student,

Congratulations on your upcoming graduation from Bosworth University! We look forward to seeing you at the commencement ceremony. This will be an event that families, fellow students, and professors can all enjoy together. 

We hope.

Unfortunately, it’s been brought to our attention that some students may elect to go naked beneath their graduation robes in an activity called “hospital gown-ing.” While we appreciate high-spirited hijinks as much as the next university administration, it is our duty to inform you that graduating while naked runs counter to our school’s Mission Statement. (Please refer to the course catalog. It’s right there on page 17, after the section about the required senior thesis and before the warnings about proper cafeteria etiquette.)

We are reluctant to employ punitive measures at the commencement, so students caught “gown-ing” will not be stripped of their diplomas on the spot. Instead, we will award their ceremonial placeholders onstage along with everyone else’s. 

The subsequent mailing of the actual diplomas, however, will not occur.

You may wonder, “But how would you even know if I were nude beneath my robe?” Good question. Consider two factors: your robe is made of the sheerest polyester fabric, and the commencement stage is located at our outdoor amphitheater . . . aka “the Wind Tunnel.” 

Imagine waiting in excitement to mount the stairs to the stage. Your full given name is called, and as you stride forth, your image appears on the Jumbotron screen for all of the assembled guests to witness. Photos are taken, videos roll, and just then, you’re hit by a sudden gust of wind. Your flimsy robe wraps tightly against your body, like cling wrap stretched across a platter of holiday leftovers. 

A child cries out in alarm, and then another, even as an elderly gentleman in the front row clutches his chest and requires medical attention.

So yes, we will know that you are “au naturel.” EVERYONE will know.

And while we’re on this subject, there are a number of other behaviors that will result in the withholding of your diploma, including the following:

— Zooming the commencement speaker with a drone
— Soliciting contributions to your GoFundMe campaign to pay off student loans
— Having more than three overdue library books

— Throwing your mortarboard Frisbee-style at the professor who gave you a C- in Anthropology 205
— Cosplay
— Carrying signs of an overtly political nature
— Carrying graduate students of an overtly political nature
— Spraying silly string on the Vice Chancellor 
— Promising to stay in touch with classmates, even as your conscience recoils at such a blatant falsehood
— (Business School graduates only) Excessive alumni schmoozing

If this list seems overly prohibitive, please feel free to do whatever you wish with your tassel. (Nobody really understands the rule regarding tassels anyway.)

Thank you very much for your attention on this matter. We look forward to seeing you — but just the decent bits — at the ceremony. And once again, congratulations on your achievement!

Cordially yours,

The Bosworth University Graduation Committee