January 1, 2009

I Laughed While Reading, Part I of III

From Free-Range Chickens by Simon Rich:
GOD: Did you start that war over in South America?
ANGEL: Yes sir, just as you specified.
GOD: And you gave Fred Hodges that migraine? In Fayette, Maine?
ANGEL: Of course, I followed all your orders to the letter.
GOD: Okay, great. So the next part of my grand sweeping plan is… the next part is… um…
ANGEL: Yes?
GOD: Wait, hold on… I know I was going somewhere with this…
ANGEL: . . .
GOD: It’s the [darndest] thing. I had this giant, all-encompassing plan, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was.
ANGEL: Did you… write it down somewhere?
GOD: Nah. It was all up here. (Points at head.)
ANGEL: Well… maybe if I say some of the things that you’ve done so far, you’ll remember?
GOD: That’s a good idea. Let’s try that.
ANGEL: Okay… um… assassination of Julius Caesar… the great San Francisco fire… World War I… World War II… is anything coming back?
GOD: I know all those things are connected somehow…. they were all part of this awesome plan I had… I just can’t remember what the payoff was.
ANGEL: . . .
GOD: I guess I bit off more than I could chew.

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