February 5, 2009

Daily Lane Closures Due to Zombies

Yesterday's zombie posting seems to have set off a viral infection across three states. Yep, Illinois, Indiana, and Texas have all fallen prey to traffic sign hackers who warn of, respectively:

“Daily lane closures due to zombies.”
“Raptors ahead — Caution.”
Caution! Zombies! Ahead!!

Of these, I prefer the first. The matter-of-fact tone (this happens daily) is perfect. Also priceless: Finding a classic car hidden in your backyard. According to this Daily Mail story, an overgrown yard in Slough was recently cleared, and to the astonishment of neighbors, a Ford Escort was found beneath the fronds and vines. Sca-ry!*

What if you opened the car's front door only to find a zombie? I have the perfect solution to a Ford zombie infestation: The funk pollinations of Midnight Star.

*Note: Only a British newspaper would include a related poem about the news story. In this case, it's Sir John Betmeman's "Slough," which concludes:
Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.

1 comment:

MHerrmann said...

What do zombies eat?
Braaaains.

What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaains.

Why did the zombie cross the road?
Braaaains.

Zombies at a protest:
"What do we want?"
"Braaaains!"
"When do we want it?"
"Braaaaains!"

How many zombies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Braaaaains!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Zombie
Zombie who?
Braaaaaains!

A zombie, a priest and a rabbi are in a rowboat...
Braaaaaaains!

A zombie walks into a bar...
Braaaaaains!