February 9, 2009

Winners and Losers

The Setting: New York City, 1958

The Name: Robert Lane names his newborn son “Winner.” The child's future success is assured.

The Twist: Three years later, Robert fathers another boy. According to the Sydney Morning Herald, he asked his daughter what to name the baby. Her response: "Well, we've got a Winner, why don't we have a Loser?"

The Results: Loser Lane attended prep school on a scholarship. After college, he joined the New York Police Department. He is currently a decorated police sergeant in the South Bronx.

Meanwhile, Winner Lane has accrued over 30 arrests for burglary, domestic violence, trespassing, resisting arrest, and assorted other acts of mayhem.

The Conclusion: Destiny has a sense of humor. (More at Salon.)

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