June 13, 2016

Want to read some puns? OF COURSE YOU DON'T

After the surgeon removed the faulty heart valve, the med students gave her a standing ablation.
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"Why's the foreign ambassador meeting our highway commission?"
“He's trying to negotiate a turn.”
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When I hear thunder, grape vines always reassure me. (There’s nothing like a safe arbor in a storm.)
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Is there a store that specializes in prosthetic limbs for the extremely elderly? If so, I hope it's called “Your Last Leg.”
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If you want to stay on Little Miss Muffet’s good side, you'd better stay out of her whey.
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“Aren’t you worried woodpeckers will damage your new wood sign?”

“Not really — my spelling has always been impeckable.”

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