NEWSFLASH: I am really bad at making conversation

Anyone who works with the public develops the ability of making lightweight conversation. My skills in this regard were called upon at last weekend’s Wild Arts festival.

A woman stopped by my table and chuckled over the Mischief book. Intuition told me she was a teacher, so I asked if that was the case.

“How did you know?” she replied. “I’m a counselor.”

“Oh, I’m pretty immature, so I can spot these things. Are you a school counselor?”

“Yes! Sort of.”

“What grade or age kids do you work with?”

“Teenagers who are 18 or 19.”

“Oh, young adults! I can only imagine the kinds of problems mature people like that might have.”

“I’m a drug and alcohol counselor.”

“Ah.” Pause. We avoid eye contact. “Now I can imagine it.”

Mercifully, she left shortly afterwards. But please don’t worry, it wasn’t awkward at all.

(EDITORIAL CORRECTION: It was hideously awkward.)