January 27, 2009

Toilet Paper: Your Source for Justice and Poetry

Swindler Bernard Madoff is still waltzing around relatively free in his Park Avenue apartment… but can he tango? (Oh, good one!)

Since this embezzling Beelzebub has so far been merely confined at home with an ankle bracelet, teenage kids in Florida had to show the Justice Department how it’s done. A group of youths descended on Madoff’s Palm Beach mansion and TP-ed it. Sweet justice!

The unnamed kids took revenge after losing their trust funds to Madoff's greed. Their parents apparently endorsed the assault, as does the staff here at Unexpectedly Bart!.

Meanwhile, over at the Mainichi Daily News (is your subscription current?), comes news of toilet paper poetry. The Japan Toilet Labo —“a research center devoted to the country's toilets”— plans to exhibit “toilet poems” in Japan’s public restrooms next month.

You see, the average Japanese person uses 55 TP rolls annually. That's too many! But soon, when a public bathroom user reaches for a sheet, some pithy lines will provide a timely reminder on sustainable wipe-age. Some examples:

Give love to the toilet.”
That paper will meet you for but a moment.”
Fold the paper over and over and over and over again.

These must sound better in Japanese. After all, preliminary results show a 10-20 percent drop in toilet paper use where the poems were placed! I wonder what other civic wonders could be accomplished with poetry... and/or toilet paper...


dgm said...

Well, I once saw "Don't swim in the toilet; don't pee in the pool" signs at the local pool. Maybe they should also be placed in bathroom stalls to discourage swimming in the toilet. Granted, it doesn't rhyme, but the prose gets me right here. [I'm tapping over my heart]

Word verification: swism

OMG! if you took out the second "s" it'd be "swim". That must mean something!

Bart King said...

Word verifications can be disturbing. I once had to confirm "Stig Nybo." I knew a Finnish exchange student by that very name in college... so when I get the verification, I looked over my shoulder.

Nope. Nobody there.