It’s a cruel, cruel summer.

Full story here.

"Family lost in corn maze calls 911"

Sometimes a story comes along that's so perfect, we need to read the whole thing to enjoy it. This is one of those stories:

BOSTON (Reuters) - A fall outing to a Massachusetts farm this week turned frightful for a family who got lost in an elaborate corn maze and called 911 to be rescued. 

The call for help came...from the family lost in the dark in a seven-acre corn maze at a farm...about 25 miles north of Boston, police said. 

"I don't see anybody. I'm really scared. It's really dark and we've got a three-week-old baby with us," a woman [said] in a recorded call to 911. 

The husband, wife and their two children were actually only about 25 or 30 feet into the maze, but they panicked as darkness fell, worried the farm had closed. 

"We thought this would be fun. Instead it's a nightmare," the woman said in the call...

A police canine unit responded and found the family by calling out. The dog on duty, Falco, did not have to track them down, said...Sergeant Robert Bettencourt. 

While people have been known to lose their way in corn mazes, Bettencourt said he did not know of police responding to such a call before. 

This year's corn maze at Connors Farm...typically takes about 45 minutes or an hour to wander through, said manager Richard Potter...he said staff members had not left the farm when the family called police and knew there were people were in the maze. But Potter said he did not hear anyone call out for help. 

"We want to have positive family experiences here," Potter said. "We don't want anybody to go through what they went through."

I love this story.

From here.

"911? Mickey Mouse Must Die."

In the U.S., there are enough silly calls to 911 to fill a book (What’s the Number for 911?) and then some. My favorite is the woman living in Los Alamitos who called 911 to complain that a person was making “bird-type noises” outside of her house.

The police came and found the source of the emergency: A bird in a tree.

Unsurprisingly, boneheaded misuse of emergency numbers is also an international phenomenon. The Telegraph’s Scottish correspondent, Auslan Cramb, recently reported that Central Scotland Police have released details of some of their worst emergency calls (it’s 999 there, BTW).

Callers included a person who demanded police action after being soaked by a car that drove through a puddle. Oh, and a man complaining of getting too many onions in his Chinese takeout meal.

And then there’s the woman who called 999 because her newly-purchased rabbit’s ears were not floppy. (They had been described as such in its newspaper ad.)

Speaking of infamous rodent ears, The Telegraph had a story headlined “Mickey Mouse Must Die.” It told of Sheikh Muhammad Munajid (a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington, DC), who said that ALL mice (including cartoon ones!) must be killed.

In a presentation broadcast on the Arab network al-Majd TV, the Sheikh slammed Mickey Mouse and his ilk for making mice seem cute. Big mistake! “According to Islamic law, the mouse is a repulsive, corrupting creature…. Mickey Mouse should be killed in all cases.”

How does one kill a cartoon mouse? A quick call to 911 will clear that up.

ADDENDUM: On 9/20/08, the Oregonian reported that Portland police had received 911 calls about Gennifer Moss (aka, Earth Friend Gen) who was in-line skating without much in the way of clothing. Police responded when a group of construction workers called to complain.