Death by Jewelry (and Why Authors Are So Generous)

Rose O’Neal Greenhow was the only American spy who was killed by her own jewelry. A gregarious socialite in Washington, DC, during the Civil War, Rose was actually gathering secrets about the Union army to pass along to the South. And this was good stuff; after Rose sent one message about troop movements hidden in a girl’s curls, the South got a big victory at the Battle of Manassas. (Jefferson Davis later gave Greenhow full credit for the victory.)

But the jig was eventually up. When Abe Lincoln’s very own detective, Allan Pinkerton, arrested Greenhow, she chewed and swallowed a secret message she was carrying. She was imprisoned for espionage and eventually exiled to the Confederate states. From there, the spying socialite traveled to Europe to lobby for the Confederate cause. She was surprisingly successful; it turned out that aristocrats could relate to the South. While in Europe, Greenhow's memoirs (My Imprisonment and the First Year of Abolition Rule At Washington) were published. It sold VERY well.

In 1864, Greenhow got on a British blockade-running ship to return home. She made it to the Cape Fear River near Wilmington, North Carolina. But as a Union gunboat gave chase, Greenhow gathered the gold and jewels her royalties had gained her and got in a rowboat. Bad move. After the boat capsized, the gold and her gigantic skirt, Greenhow sank like a gemstone, never to return.

And this explains why authors to this day donate the bulk of their royalties to charity.

Hey, that reminds me, have you ever seen that movie on intelligence gathering called Spy Kids? If so, you know that part when Carmen said, “Spy work, that's easy. Keeping a family together, that's difficult. And that's the mission worth fighting for”? I winced a little there. (Good movie, though.)

My sources are here.

Whig Nostalgia, cont.: The Best Thing You'll Read About John Tyler Today

John Tyler (U.S. President 1841-1845) is memorable for the following reasons:

1.) The Whig V.P. was playing marbles when he learned of his promotion to the presidency. (President William Harrison died after only a month in office.)

2.) His wife, Julia, was the only First Lady who insisted on being called, “Mrs. Presidentress.” While living in the White House, Julia received guests while seated on a raised platform with a wreath of flowers on her head.

3.) As president, Tyler was vilified for being a flip-flopper. To illustrate, this detail from an 1844 cartoon shows a tiny Tyler being held aloft in a procession. The man holding him up complains, "Bedad, I can't carry you [Tyler] if you turn with every flaw of wind."

How willing was Tyler to reverse course? He was the only president ever elected to political office for both the United States and an opposing government: The Confederacy.

Fifteen years after leaving the White House, Tyler threw in his support with the rebels and was elected to a seat in the Confederacy’s newly formed House of Representatives.

Then he died. Bedad!

My sources are here.