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Showing posts with label founding father. Show all posts
Showing posts with label founding father. Show all posts

December 2, 2008

Giving Us the Electrocuted Bird III: In Which I Rest and Rescind My Case

The scum of every nation gravitates to the frontier.” Benjamin Franklin
Wrapping up my charges (earlier ones here and here) that Benjamin Franklin was the most overrated Founding Father, let me point out what a bad roommate he was. When Franklin and John Adams were on a diplomatic mission regarding Canada, the two men had to share a bedroom on Staten Island. (Make up your own “politics makes strange bedfellows” joke.) It was cold outside and Adams shut the bedroom window.

“No, that’s very unhealthy,” Franklin said, opening the window and praising the healthy benefits of fresh air. This lecture was so boring, Adams slept through it. But the poor little guy was still cold!

Not only was he an annoying roommate, but historians agree that Franklin wasn’t much of a father. For example, his only son William was forced to risk electrocution flying a kite in a lightning storm while dad took notes from a covered shed. Of course, images like this engraving by Henry Sadd usually show Franklin going it alone, or if William is present, he’s a mere accomplice.

As an adult, William opposed the Revolutionary War because he believed the only way the American colonies could achieve independence was through a series of bloody battles, and he couldn’t bear to see that happen. Opposing the war meant that William was defined as a “Loyalist” for King George III of England.

This infuriated his father, and after signing the Declaration of Independence, Franklin personally arranged for the arrest of his son. William’s subsequent three years of solitary imprisonment left him with no teeth, no job, no wife (she died in the interim), and no father. Benjamin Franklin cut all mention of William from his autobiography, and William was exiled to Great Britain for the rest of his days.

What a jerk! Let’s see, what else... One could say that Franklin was indirectly responsible for the renegade State of Franklin, a real place from 1784–1788. You see, North Carolina originally reached west all the way to the Mississippi. But its inhabitants living on the western frontier were such a pain in the roughneck, North Carolina’s governor cut them loose by turning the land over to the federal government.

The frontier folk then formed their own territory, the State of Franklin. To see where it was, check the right inset on this map (from a 1923 book by William R. Shepherd, courtesy of the University of Texas Libraries).
The State of Franklin applied to Congress for statehood and received seven of thirteen votes, two votes short of the two-thirds majority required. In 1786, the North Carolina Assembly passed the Act of Oblivion (how cool!), which was intended to bring the State of Franklin back within North Carolina. It didn’t take, but ten years later, the state formerly known as Franklin became part of the new state of Tennessee.

But can I really define Benjamin Franklin (or anyone!) by the worst thing he ever did? I suppose not. You've got to love anyone who wrote, “I would rather have it said, He lived usefully, than, He died rich.” As a final point in his favor, Franklin was both a printer and a book lover, thus cementing his merit for the ages. Below, the epitaph that he wrote for himself in 1728:
[Here lies] the Body of B. Franklin, Printer;
Like the cover of an old book,
Its contents torn out,
And stripped of its lettering and gilding,
Lies here, food for worms.
But the work shall not be wholly lost;
For it will, as he believed, appear once more,
In a new and more perfect edition,
Corrected and amended,
By the author.
The Henry Sadd engraving is from the Library of Congress.
My sources are here. Oh, and as a final aside, Benjamin Franklin’s grandson, Benjamin Franklin Bache, became a newspapermen who delighted in tweaking George Washington’s image. Bache once wrote that the president was “a despotic, anemic counterfeit of [King] George.” Guess the kid had a little gadfly in his DNA.

November 29, 2008

Giving Us the Electrocuted Bird, Part II

“[They are] the most stupid in the nation, few of their children speak English and through their indiscretion . . . great disorders may one day arise among us.” Benjamin Franklin (Can you guess what group he was referring to?*)
As you may be saddened to know, I’ve been building a case against Benjamin Franklin. I believe he may be the most over-rated of our Founding Fathers, and let's see, where was I… yes, let the record show that Franklin didn’t even like his new nation’s name, preferring the United States of North America. (Rats, that’s actually a good idea.) Okay, let me start over.

Ah, here we are. In 1741, Franklin printed the first magazine ad ever to run in North America. It was a “Wanted” ad for a runaway slave. Nice.

And while much is made of Franklin’s success as a diplomat in France, he earned a spot at the bottom of a chamber pot during his tenure there. True, Franklin was enormously popular with the French. That was the problem; he was TOO popular. When King Louis overheard one of Marie Antoinette’s ladies-in-waiting swooning over how great Franklin was, the king took measures. He had a customized porcelain chamber pot made. At its bottom was a picture of Franklin. And it was sent to the lady-in-waiting, who, I’m guessing, took the hint.

* He was talking about German immigrants. My sources are here.

November 27, 2008

Giving Us the Electrocuted Bird

“[Benjamin Franklin is] a crafty and lecherous old hypocrite whose very statue seems to gloat on the wenches as they walk the States House yard.” —William Cobbett
Statesman. Scientist. Revolutionary. Writer of bad jokes. The United States was founded by a score of brilliant human beings, and Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) may have been the brilliant-est of all. But so many watts have been added to his legend over the years, it’s possible he’s also the most overrated of the Founding Fathers.

For example, much is made of the Franklin’s wisdom and wit, but today, many of his one-liners have lost their zip. “He that lives on hope, dies farting”? How crude! (Of course, there’s also “Men and melons are hard to know.” So true!)

Further tarnishing Franklin's luster is the fact that he tried to give us the bird! As is tiresomely reported every Thanksgiving, Franklin wanted the U.S. to adopt the turkey for its national emblem. He claimed it was a “bird of courage.” While it’s hard to argue with that (a turkey is not a chicken), Franklin then stooped to dirty politics, charging that the bald eagle was a bird of “bad moral character”! Despite this slander, Congress adopted the bald eagle as our national emblem in 1782.

As for Franklin's professed love for the turkey, in 1750, Franklin tried to electrocute one of the fowls to death as part of an experiment. (Really!) But instead, Franklin accidentally electrocuted himself. The great man then suffered short-term memory loss for a... short term.
My sources are here.