Sacré Bleu! Nicholas Batum Is Infuriated

Nicholas Batum is hopping mad, and I don’t blame him. The Portland Trail Blazer hails from a country that understands the importance of an engaged citizenry. After all, the voter turnout for the French presidential election of 2007 was 84%! That crushes the usual U.S. voter turnout numbers, though perhaps this year will be an exception.

But based on an Oregonian poll of the Trail Blazers voting, perhaps not. The on-line version of the article doesn’t have these specifics of player preferences:
McCain: Joel Przybilla
Obama: Jarryd Bayless, Channing Frye, Greg Oden, Travis Outlaw
Decline to State: LaMarcus Aldridge, Shavlik Randolph
Foreign Nationals: Rudy Fernandez, Sergio Rodgriguez (Spain), Batum
Will Not Vote: Brandon Roy, Steve Blake, Ike Diogu

"Will not vote"? How about "Does not care"? Brandon Roy said he won't vote for personal reasons. And Steve Blake stated that he never votes, but that he always supports whomever wins.

Arg. The only thing curbing my shame for these guys is the fact that they’re both class acts… who both need to think a LOT harder about what it means to be a responsible citizen. To get the bad taste of disengaged millionaires out of my mouth, here's a highlight reel of Batum against the Spurs this weekend. (How much do you want to bet he voted last year?)

Gird Your Loins and Cast a Ballot

I just finished voting. (Cue applause.) With my “secret ballot” duly sealed, I just need to mail it or do a drive-by at a ballot drop. Oregon has no other options; it’s strictly “vote-by-mail,” something that is intended to generate greater voter participation.

One thing I don’t have to worry about is running a gauntlet of rowdy thugs demanding to see my ballot. That IS, however, the time-honored American way. Writing in the New Yorker, Jill Lepore describes the case of Baltimore voter George Kyle, who tried to vote for his state’s congressman in 1859:
"As he neared the polls…a ruffian tried to snatch his ballots. Kyle... heard a cry: his brother, just behind him, had been struck. Next, someone clobbered Kyle... “I felt a pistol put to my head,” he said. Grazed by a bullet, he fell….Someone else fired a shot, hitting Kyle in the arm. [A man] threw a brick, knocking him off his feet. George Kyle picked himself up and ran. He never did cast his vote. Nor did his brother, who died of his wounds."

Kyle’s candidate not only lost the election, he also lost his appeal of the election. The House of Representatives found that any “man of ordinary courage” could have made his way to the polls that day.

From the founding of the U.S. until the 20th century, elections would not be invalidated unless “there was such a display of force [by opposition party members at the polling place] as ought to have intimidated men of ordinary firmness.” The Baltimore incident described above was no isolated incident; nearly 90 prospective voters were killed in the mid-1800s when they tried to vote on Election Day.

Also interesting, George Kyle was carrying his ballot with him to the polling place. The notion of a “secret ballot” was unknown and many states didn’t allow voting on paper. (Heck, Kentucky stuck to voting “by voice” until 1891!)

If you did bring your own ballot, you might have to fill it out right there at the polling place, which had no isolation booth. You had to supply the paper and remember every candidate for every office. Spelled a name wrong? Your vote was invalid.

In 1859, there wasn’t a single locale in the U.S. that provided ballots for its voters. This led political parties to print their own “party tickets” for voters to return. To advertise the party, these ballots came to be printed on colossal, bright sheets of paper that couldn’t be easily concealed as a person went to the polling place.

The state of Maine wised up to this and in 1831, protected voters by requiring uniform ballots. (Of course, the state didn’t actually PROVIDE the ballots.) This was not an example other states followed; secret ballots were suspicious; why would an honest American hide his political opinion?

But by following the example set by advanced civilizations like Australia and Maine, by 1896, government-printed ballots were used in 39 states. By the way, voter turnout during the 1800s averaged about 80% nationally. Though more types of people can vote safely today, we’re lucky to get 50% of people to the polls.

Cynics say that after the 2000 election debacle, people feel disenfranchised. Puh-leeze. Dismal voter turnouts predated 2000. It used to take bravery to vote in the U.S. Now that it’s safe and easy, one only has to care.

Both historic images above are from the Library of Congress; both are taken from Harper's Weekly. The first is from 1857, and the second (titled "The First Vote") is from a decade later.

Democracy: Our Wonderful Freak!

“Democracy is the art... of running the circus from the monkey cage.” H. L. Mencken

Democracy rules! (Okay, actually it governs, but that doesn’t excite anyone.)

But the way democracy works is completely unnatural. Sure, it seems like a perfectly normal system, but you probably grew up with it. Like me, you may have also grown up thinking fake brick linoleum was a good flooring choice, or that a Humvee with bulletproof windows was a sensible vehicle to drive. (Admittedly, I got a lot of death threats in elementary school.)

Voting can only take place when a nation reaches a advanced form of civilization. And it’s only within our advanced civilization that we can control our “natural” inclinations. As a wise person said, “Human nature... is what we are put on this earth to rise above.” It's natural to want to drop a glockenspiel on someone who did you wrong. But that doesn't make it right; you should go with a small woodwind instrument instead.

To illustrate what a freak democracy is, here is an absolutely true and apocryphal story from the 1840s:

One winter’s day in South Carolina, a woman named Abigail was arguing with three plantation owners about slavery. No matter what she said, Abigail could not get the three men to agree that slavery was morally wrong.

“But surely you agree that all people have souls?” Abigail finally asked.

“We do,” said the first plantation owner, “but slaves are not people.”

Driven to desperation by this stupidity, Abigail cried out, “Lord, please give us a sign to prove that I am right!” And to her amazement, there was a distant rumble of thunder.

“Thunder on a winter’s day can hardly decide this argument,” maintained the second of the men.

“Oh Lord,” cried Abigail, “can you provide a further sign that slavery is wrong?”

A fork of lightning snaked down, flashing in the darkening sky and hitting a tree.

“These are actions of nature, not signs from God,” said the third man.

Abigail looked pleadingly upward and raised her arms to the sky. And to the awe of all, a deep voice boomed from the heavens. “She is right. Slavery is deeply wrong.”

Astounded, Abigail turned her triumphant gaze to her cowed adversaries. “What do you have to say to that?” she demanded.

Recovering his wits, one of the men said, “Okay, now it’s three votes to two.” And so democracy carried the day.

That sad tale makes it easy to understand why John Adams said “majorities are as tyrannical and cruel as unlimited despots.” So the next time you are frustrated by someone who doesn’t see things your way, try to be tolerant. You’re stuck with every single Stone Age muttonhead (like me!) in the nation.

The founders of the United States knew this would be a pain in the neck. John Adams again: “America is a great unwieldy body... It is like a large fleet sailing under convoy. The fleetest sailors must wait for the dullest and slowest... that all may keep an even pace.”

To illustrate the point, Adlai Stevenson ran against Dwight Eisenhower twice in the 1950s. At one point, a supporter told Stevenson that “every thinking person” would vote for him.

“Madam, that’s not enough,” he answered. “I need a majority.”

SIDELIGHT: As you can see above, the sole of Adlai Stevenson's shoe was once photographed, and the fact that it had a hole in it set off a mild uproar. Stevenson's campaign sagely turned this to their advantage; their candidate was truly frugal! The symbol of a holey shoe even became a Stevenson campaign pin (left).

Last thing: Any sources I've used that aren't directly referenced above can be found here.
Lastest thing: If you think I'm giving myself a pep talk in case the presidential election doesn't go the way I hope it does, you're right.