WELCOME! Look I got you a gift.

Since you're recuperating from a "procedure," I thought you might need a little reading over the weekend.

Don't act so surprised; I know exactly what you've been planning! And since Welcome to Your Facelift is written by the wife of novelist Jay McInerney, you know that this is going to be literary gold!

What, you're mad? Okay, fine. Here, I got you ANOTHER book just in case this happened.

Don't tell me you can't use Ragnar's Guide to Home and Recreational Use of High Explosives. No home is complete without it!