"Mommy? I'm scared!"

"Presented for your approval—a world where a person can be so intent on texting, he's unaware of the humpback whale surfacing in front of him. Looks like we've all just entered...The Oblivious Zone."

Photo by Eric J. Smith, near Redondo Beach, California.

Okay, kids, first, you need to do some training...

And now I hope your arms are warmed up, 

so you're ready for the main event!

Oops.

This actress from The Big Bang Theory is named Mayim Bialik. Here, she fields a question at the SAG Awards. 

Thanks for the hot tip, Merrill Gold!

Sometimes a Bad Book Idea Can't Be Stopped

Dr. Seuss's character, the Lorax, “speaks for the trees.” So the timber industry financed a rebuttal book: Truax. It stars a fanatical “protector of trees” (named Guardbark) who gets lectured about natural resources by a lumberjack. 



The book features the immortal line: “How far will we go? How much will we pay? To keep a few minnows from dying away?”

Full pdf of Truax here. Tip via Mental Floss.

For shame.

This Etsy user carved up a copy of The Wind in the Willows to make an iPhone charger? Great idea! Now watch while I take a sledgehammer, smash your iPhone, and then use the data chip for a bookmark.

I wonder why I never thought of Gossie this way?

I guess it's because I'm not insane! (Review, via.)

Sometimes reading can be such a chore.

Via.

True, that.

Cast-iron book alcoves, Main Hall, Cincinnati

I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that Cincinnati had a building called Main Hall that had these amazing cast-iron book alcoves...and then bad people tore the building down.

By Public Library of Cincinnati.

Let's say you want to sneak knives through airport security.

Let's see, you could go with the old "hollowed-out book" trick. Yep, but what kind of book should you use? Probably not one that looks suspicious . . . so you probably would not use THIS book!

(The TSA confiscated it from a carry-on Monday. Via.)

Did I ever tell you about the greatest news story of all time?

From the Statesman Journal.

When did Santa Claus become a trigger-happy jerk?

Using the flying reindeer for target practice? Very uncool. (Via.)

Wait for it...

"Do you own an Amazon Kindle?"

This raises the question:

Who are the two-percent of people who say, "I don't know"? (Via.)

Be brave, Blackberry users.

Take courage from the knowledge that your problem is shared throughout the Solar System. (Hey, it's impacting users on every planet!)

"Family lost in corn maze calls 911"

Sometimes a story comes along that's so perfect, we need to read the whole thing to enjoy it. This is one of those stories:

BOSTON (Reuters) - A fall outing to a Massachusetts farm this week turned frightful for a family who got lost in an elaborate corn maze and called 911 to be rescued. 

The call for help came...from the family lost in the dark in a seven-acre corn maze at a farm...about 25 miles north of Boston, police said. 

"I don't see anybody. I'm really scared. It's really dark and we've got a three-week-old baby with us," a woman [said] in a recorded call to 911. 

The husband, wife and their two children were actually only about 25 or 30 feet into the maze, but they panicked as darkness fell, worried the farm had closed. 

"We thought this would be fun. Instead it's a nightmare," the woman said in the call...

A police canine unit responded and found the family by calling out. The dog on duty, Falco, did not have to track them down, said...Sergeant Robert Bettencourt. 

While people have been known to lose their way in corn mazes, Bettencourt said he did not know of police responding to such a call before. 

This year's corn maze at Connors Farm...typically takes about 45 minutes or an hour to wander through, said manager Richard Potter...he said staff members had not left the farm when the family called police and knew there were people were in the maze. But Potter said he did not hear anyone call out for help. 

"We want to have positive family experiences here," Potter said. "We don't want anybody to go through what they went through."

Why do I need a dress code if I work at home?

My office manage insists I sign a copy of this fashion "contract." What a rip-off! Sure, I dress in a Neo-Bourgeois style normally, but I don't like being told it's MANDATORY. (Photo by gruntzooki.)

Ed Gombert, we salute you!

In 1986, Disney big-shots made a marketing decision. They changed the title of an upcoming movie about mice from Basil of Baker Street to The Great Mouse Detective. So an animator who worked on the film named Ed Gombert wrote a fake memo renaming Disney’s back catalog of movies in a similarly lame style. For example, 101 Dalmatians becomes Puppies Taken Away. Brilliant!

 How many films can you identify? (Via.)

Er, shouldn't that be "We're No. 1"?

From here.

I'm pretty sure we're not even No. 2 now.

Thanks for nothing, stupid T-shirt maker!

Let's start an "I Love Imbecility" page on Facebook next!

"I Hate Reading" indeed! I can see it now:

Facebook User: Man, I hate reading. The very act of looking at words pains me . . . yet I can just make out the words 'I Hate Reading' on this page. Yes! Now that I've read it, I want to be affiliated with that group for sure!

Luckily, only about half-a-million people in the WHOLE WORLD "like" hatred towards reading. That means most of us are still swimming in smartness! (From here.)