When you’re looking for a hobby that matches your healthy lifestyle:

This is one amazing book dedication.

From The Field Guide to the North American Teenager by Ben Philippe.

One of my favorite middle-grade book report opening lines:

"This was pretty good, for a book."

Want to see the world's coolest license plate?

[bookstore moments]

PERSON 1: I need a new butt.

PERSON 2: What?! Why would you say that—

PERSON 1 (holds up book)

I made a sandwich at Powell's bookstore on Hawthorne!

Hey, I wrote an article!

I had the good luck to work at Powell's Books for the holidays, and I wrote an article about it for the Oregonian. (I've also included the full text of the article below.)

FYI, I'm an elite athlete.

"The Big Book of Medieval Stuff" has a great recipe for wattle and daub!

(Wattle and daub was used for house siding

 in the Middle Ages. Heheh. Via.)

Want your book to make a ton of money?

SELL it for a ton of money! That's what Jack Stratton did. His book (there's only one copy) is for sale for $290,000:

Me? I'm going to wait for a used copy.

Sheesh! C'mon Hilton!

"Books are for display purposes only"? 

That's like owning a sailboat, and never getting on board! (Via.)

"And then the murders began."

So a writer named Marc Laidlaw had an interesting idea:

The first line of almost any story can be improved by making sure the second line is, "And then the murders began."

— Marc Laidlaw (@marc_laidlaw) March 3, 2017

Let's try it out! Here's a few beginnings that you might recognize:

“I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh. And then the murders began.

 —————————

One sunny Sunday, the caterpillar was hatched out of a tiny egg. He was very hungry. And then the murders began.

  —————————

"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. And then the murders began.

  —————————

"Where's Papa going with that axe?” said Fern to her mother. And then the murders began.

  —————————

Imagine you’re in a dark room. And then the murders began. 

(Okay, I sort of cheated. That last one was from THE DRAKE EQUATION!)

Totes.

Someone is NOT excited about reading.

The book dedication that C.S. Lewis wrote for "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" . . .

. . . is sort of amazing.

(Okay, fine, I'm a little misty-eyed, okay?)

"The Button Who Had a Sense of Humor"

Other books in this series include:

• The Zipper Drama Queen 

• The Velcro Strap with Anger Management Problems 

• The Snap with Attachment Issues 

(Thanks for that last one, Jedd!)

This is me, happy to have a book coming out...

...then getting a mean review!

Ask a six-year-old for a book recommendation . . .

Via.

"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Exactly—our records show that you haven't read a book in over a year. Now, assume the position!"

*hands driver a novel*

Photo by sholcomba.

"Sir, are you ready to order?"

—“What? Sorry, I'm just really distracted right now.”

—“Please focus, sir. You know, it’s very hard to get a table here.”

—“I know—this place is booked!”

*rimshot*

(This is a real table at the Fable Restaurant in London. And thanks to Mike L. for the joke!)