(And let's forget about the great jpeg fiasco of 2016, ok?)
‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑
"So you're an avian dermatologist? What's your most
commonly diagnosed problem?"
"Goose pimples."
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I'm going to find out if electro-shock therapy can lift
one's spirits.
Also? Don't use a butter knife to get a muffin from the
toaster.
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ENGLAND, 1968:
"Okay lads, what're we going to call the band?"
*Ritchie Blackmore looks at his bruised forearm*
"What about Deep Purple?"
‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑
BUYING GROCERIES:
"Paper or plastic?"
"Both. I want a real mixed bag."
‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑‑
"Hello, Cheever Books."
"Is your bookstore multi-story?"
"Nope."
"But you can't do very well if you only sell one
story."
*hangs up*
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City Council Meeting—
MAYOR: Why should we sign a toothless 'Stop the Reservoir'
ordinance? We're dammed if we do, and dammed if we don't.
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"Does this steak meet FDA standards for
chewability?"
"Yes, it's legal tender."
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