No big deal, but I was just awarded WRITING'S GREATEST PRIZE! No, not the Nobel Prize in Literature. Even better—I won the ”Vile Pun” category in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
As background, the BLFC challenges writers to compose the first sentence for the worst imaginable novel. It has various genre categories (Adventure, Romance, Science Fiction, etc.), and there's also one for "Vile Puns."
As nothing is more unfunny than explaining a joke, here goes: A Peer is a member of the British aristocracy, and telling someone to "take a long walk off a short pier" is a way of telling someone to get lost.
So anyway, you can imagine how proud I am! And if you read any of the award-winning entries and think, "I could write worse than THAT," enter this contest next year. :)
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