CONSTITUTION OF THE STATE OF NEW MEXICOArticle VII., Section 1.
Voter Qualification: Every citizen of the United States, who is over the age of twenty-one years, and has resided in New Mexico twelve months, in the county ninety days, and in the precinct in which he offers to vote thirty days... except idiots, insane persons and persons convicted of a felonious or infamous crime... shall be qualified to vote at all elections for public officers.
Still, I'll bet it's better than Kanye West's book from last year, Thank You And You’re Welcome. This book was 52 pages long, but some of those pages were blank. And the pages that weren’t blank had gigantic sentences like “Life is 5% what happens and 95% how you react!” or this:
Nov. 20. 1905
J. H. Todd
1212 Webster St.
San Francisco, Cal.
Dear Sir,
Your letter is an insoluble puzzle to me. The handwriting is good and exhibits considerable character, and there are even traces of intelligence in what you say, yet the letter and the accompanying advertisements profess to be the work of the same hand. The person who wrote the advertisements is without doubt the most ignorant person now alive on the planet; also without doubt he is an idiot, an idiot of the 33rd degree, and scion of an ancestral procession of idiots stretching back to the Missing Link. It puzzles me to make out how the same hand could have constructed your letter and your advertisements. Puzzles fret me, puzzles annoy me, puzzles exasperate me; and always, for a moment, they arouse in me an unkind state of mind toward the person who has puzzled me. A few moments from now my resentment will have faded and passed and I shall probably even be praying for you; but while there is yet time I hasten to wish that you may take a dose of your own poison by mistake, and enter swiftly into the damnation which you and all other patent medicine assassins have so remorselessly earned and do so richly deserve.
Adieu, adieu, adieu!
Mark Twain
I've just been informed that two balmy Brits wrote a book titled The Dangerous Book for Boys. If you know anyone who thinks that this vile volume is better than the incredibly tremendous The Big Book of Boy Stuff, use one of these specially designed British insults on them:
—Look! A chutney-bottomed ninnyroger!
—Have you got marmalade for brains?
—You, sir, are a milk-faced popinjay.
—Blimey! Only a troglodytic dullard would fancy that book.
—Bart King smart. Your book dumb.
(Of course, the fact is that Dangerous Book is an excellent book, and I even wrote a laudatory review for it when it came out. But it's more fun to pretend that I have a grudge against it, so play along!)
A woman named Sally Trout built a bookcase in a stairwell. Yay! Two guys who live in Toronto just set the record for the world’s longest high-five. That is, they ran over three kilometers toward each other with their hands up… waiting to do the high-five… then they met.
And magic happened!
The watch above is actually called the Bad-Ass Gunmetal Compass watch. As you can see, it's colossal. Now, most people don't even wear watches anymore, because their cellphones tell the time. 
I posted this photo of the most excellent Kansas City Library last year... but at the time, I wasn't clear on what book titles made up the building's facade. Here's that list! 
Apparently, these books were chosen on the basis of their relation to Missouri. That's why there's a biography of Harry Truman, the anthology of Kansas City Stories, and a trilogy dealing with the orcs found in the region (namely, Lord of the Rings.)
I guess the ad people for AccuQuote don't go in for the light touch. Hey, did this ad beat out some other "second-place" idea? I wonder what THAT ad was. (Maybe a girl dancing on someone's grave?)
