Tweet mania!

MILITARY TOUR:

"And over here is a division composed entirely of grandmothers. It's called—"

"Please, don't say it!"

"The Granny Unit."

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 22, 2016

Well, as long as it isn't dangerous . . . pic.twitter.com/agvSLAbpY4

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 22, 2016

"Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand."

—Kurt Vonnegut

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 22, 2016

This guy's a pretty lousy Johnny Depp impersonator. pic.twitter.com/3afFJfYdYU

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 21, 2016

A double negative is a definite no-no.

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 20, 2016

"No, me Tarzan. YOU matter."

--Tarzan pic.twitter.com/oNXxCyVfov

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 21, 2016

"I have whales inside of me!"

—The little girl across the street explaining that she's Welsh.

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 20, 2016

L.L. Bean-bag. pic.twitter.com/eoHcdnztvS

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 20, 2016

I like to set a good example as a lifelong learner by taking adult education classes.

—What I'm thinking as I get ready for Traffic School.

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 16, 2016

I refuse to tweet about geology because it's beneath me.

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 10, 2016

Hey, I wonder if I'll get a free coffee if I wear this around today? pic.twitter.com/g4DWFMRfIW

— Bart King (@BartKing) November 6, 2016