Linguistic Irritants

Research from Oxford reveals what expressions most irritate Brits. The results are also included in a new book, Damp Squid: The English Language Laid Bare by Jeremy Butterfield. The title stems from the mistake people make using the word “squid” when they mean “squib” (firecracker). I suppose all squids are damp, while only duds are damp squibs.

The squid/squib error must be much more common in the U.K. than the U.S.

As reported in the Daily Telegraph, the expressions are:

10. “It's not rocket science” (A NASA scientist related that when he and his colleagues got stuck on a problem, someone would invariably say, “It’s not rocket science.” After a beat, someone else would say, “Actually, it is.” Then they would all laugh.)
9. “24/7”
8. “Shouldn't of”
7. “It's a nightmare”
6. “Absolutely” (I plead guilty.)
5. “With all due respect” (While I don’t hear this much, I do use the phrase, “With all due disrespect” at every opportunity.)
4. “At this moment in time”
3. “I personally” (Reminiscent of “I was thinking to myself.”)
2. “Fairly unique”
1. “At the end of the day”

Telegraph readers then responded with their leastest favorite expressions. Lowlights include:

9. “Neither here not there”
7.3 "Unexpectedly Bart!"
3. “I'm gutted”
2. “A safe pair of hands” (Huh?)
1. “Literally” (My family —me included— abuses this ruthlessly.)

Not annoying are the instances when someone (purposely or not) mangles a trope. For example, a certain someone I know has a variety of takes on “six of one, a half-dozen of another.” These include “six from one, then another dozen” and “six plus one... not another baker’s dozen?”

Egg photo by Darcy Babers

Don't Make Her Laugh: She'll Go Into Cataplectic Shock

Sadly, I've gone through life not knowing this word:

cataplexy |ˈkatəˌpleksē|
a medical condition in which strong emotion or laughter causes a person to suffer sudden physical collapse though remaining conscious.*

While we've all experienced intermittent cataplectic shock, Kay Underwood lives with it every day. The 20-year old lives in Barrow upon Soar, England, where she tries to avoid the sorts of amusing situations that the rest of us look forward to.

According to a Daily Telegraph article, Underwood momentarily collapses every time she laughs. And it's not just laughter that can do it to her: "Exhilaration, anger, fear, surprise, awe and even embarrassment can also cause sufferers to suddenly collapse on the spot."

A certain Dr. Andrew Hall said, "I had one patient [the attacks] happened to whenever he had an overwhelming feeling of smugness."
As for Underwood, in another interview, she reported that sometimes her friends "good-naturedly" tried to make her laugh. Good-naturedly?! If MY friends tried to make me laugh, I'd try not to laugh. Just to spite 'em!

Failing that, I'd suffer sudden physical collapse though remaining conscious. (And while incapacitated, I'd contemplate the best medicine for laughter.)

*ORIGIN late 19th cent.: from Greek kataplēxis ‘stupefaction,’ from kataplessein, from kata- ‘down’ + plēssein ‘strike.’