“Sniff sniff. I made a stinky!”

Sorry for that blog heading, but that’s a direct quote from Baby Alive Learns to Potty (picture below). Although you’re probably familiar with dolls equipped with facsimiles of working digestive systems, this one’s a wee bit different.

Unlike the posterior posers of the past, Baby Alive is more… alive. First, you can feed her realistic bananas or green beans. Second, Baby Alive will often “hold it” until an unpredictable exit time. The little scamp might make a mess anywhere! Finally, after going, Baby Alive will proudly exclaim about her bathroom accomplishments… just like a real person.

Beavers have a pretty high-fiber diet, so after they eat their food (tree bark), the beaver digests it and then poops out what looks like a gelatin/oatmeal mix. What next? The beaver then eats its poop and digests it a second time. When it comes out this time, it looks like sawdust. Sawdust!

I mention this because the first Baby Alive-ish doll I saw was some decades ago. The problem wasn’t that you fed the baby and it pooped. The problem was that you then saved the doll’s poop, because that was going to be its next meal. While I doubt this process encouraged kids to engage in coprophagy (the eating of one’s own poop), it was an unfortunate process to observe. (A debate over whether dolls like this [whose contemporaries include Potty Patty, Potty Scotty, and the Mommy Real Loving Baby Gotta Go Doll] are in any way educational can be found here.)

How Many Light Bulbs Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

This self-referential joke wasn’t Theodore Roosevelt’s favorite, but it could have been:
Q. What is brown and sticky?
A. A stick.*

Writing in the Guardian, Anthony McGowan reflects on this joke for 600-plus words in his article, “Reflective reflections on self-referentiality.” (Sample: How can a stick be like a stick? A stick is not like a stick, a stick is a stick. Something sticklike, but not itself a stick could be "sticky" in this sense. Maybe a bony finger, or a Twiglet. But not an actual stick. So, the whole joke collapses in on itself.)

Best of all, the joke provides a segue-way to the recent news that the stick has been inducted into the Toy Hall of Fame. There, it can join other distinguished playthings enshrined for immortality like the cardboard box (class of 2005).

The stick was singled out as a natural and cheap toy that can be used in a wide variety of creative ways. For example, not only can a stick be a sword, it can also function as a spear, a mace, or a punchline.

Further, Toy Hall of Fame associate curator Susan Asbury said the stick “is generally thought of as lovable and cuddly, even if it can doze off or cry during play.”

Wait, she’s apparently describing the stick’s co-inductee, the Baby Doll there. A crying stick? That's just silly. (It would also make it impossible to "play softly and carry a quiet stick.")

* If you thought “dung” was the punchline, please. That’s the answer to the question, “What’s brown and sounds like a bell?”