You Know How to Eat a Blog? Just Push It Into Your Mouth Until It's Gone.

I saw the 1947 noirish pot-boiler The Lady from Shanghai recently. It contains the following soft-boiled dialogue between Rita Hayworth (as Rosalie Bannister) and Orson Welles (as Irishman Michael O’Hara).

Rosalie: [What if] I don’t know how to shoot?
O’Hara: It’s easy. You just pull the trigger.

This brought to mind the genuinely hard-boiled dialogue from 1944’s To Have and to Have Not wherein Lauren Bacall elevates Humphrey Bogart’s heart rate:

You don’t have to say anything, and you don’t have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow.

To complete the trifecta, I just read here that during a 1939 visit to the U.S., Queen Elizabeth was presented with a hot dog. Unsure of how to proceed, she asked Franklin D. Roosevelt for directions.

Queen Elizabeth: How do you eat it?
FDR: Very simple. Push it into your mouth and keep pushing it until it is all gone.

The queen chose to go with a knife and fork.

Photo of Queen Elizabeth and Eleanor Roosevelt from UPI.

Politics and Hot Dogs

Hot dogs continue to sneak into the news. First, President Bush addressed the United Nations about the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Sixty years ago, the architect of that document was noted hot dog lover Eleanor Roosevelt. But did Bush mention Mrs. Roosevelt during his talk? No. (Nor did the President do so last year, when he spoke on the same subject at the UN.)

Why not? According to William Heuvel, founder of the Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt Institute, Barbara Bush has said that Eleanor Roosevelt's name was not allowed to be spoken in the Bush home.

It must have something to do with hot dogs.

This brings to mind the infamous (in Oregon, anyway) campaign ad showing senatorial candidate Jeff Merkley eating a hot dog while being quizzed on the day of Russia’s invasion of Georgia. It shows just how damaging the combination of a stalker with a video camera and a man in need of a beverage can be. (Posted here by Merkley’s opponents at the NRSC):

In a more genial mode, the Oregonian ran a story titled “Weenies on the Water” about an aquatic hot dog vendor named Jeff Dood. The story kicks off with Dood taking orders from his boat:

…a candy-apple red wakeboard boat swishes to a stop alongside.

"Gimme a Screaming Weenie and a Diet Coke," the driver calls across the choppy Willamette River.

"I want a Panini Weenie," a passenger adds.

"'Weenies on the Water’?" another passenger says, reading the menu on the side of Dood's boat. "That is so tight, dude! I want a weenie, too. Do you take Visa?"

Dood doesn’t. (Though sad, this probably isn't a violation of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.)