An Assault on the Dignity of Japanese Monsters

The Japanese haven’t “done” Halloween until recently, and even now, the idea of trick-or-treating seems strange to them. Nonetheless, the Japanese do have both a sophisticated horror aesthetic and a monster tradition that goes WAY back.

The creatures I'm referring to have lineages that predate Godzilla by centuries. They are known as the Yokai (“the otherworldly”), and there is a convenient field guide for those who are interested: Yokai Attack! The Japanese Monster Survival Guide by Hiroko Yoda.

This valuable tome teaches that the Oni is a formidable demon. But I’m plugged in enough to know that like many Japanese monsters, the Oni has suffered from a neotany makeover; this is the Japanese compulsion to make everything as cute as humanly possible. Fun Fact: Hello Kitty began life as an Oni, but has since been demoted to a mouthless mite. (Okay, I made that up.)

Washington Post reporter Blaine Harden
reveals that other creatures are less fortunate, e.g., the Onibaba (demon hag). She was formerly a “horribly unbalanced elderly woman who collects livers of unborn children.” Today, the Onibaba is a theme park mascot.

One monster that’s withstood assaults on its honor is Akaname (“the Filth Licker”). He eats bathtub scum. Try prettying THAT up. And if Akaname shows up in a Japanese house, it really is horrible. People in the Land of the Rising Standards of Hygiene take clean bathrooms seriously.

The Current Spate of Cuteness: It Must End!

The forces of cuteness threaten to overwhelm me. First, I see that the Cute Overload calendars are sold out. Drat! If you're not familiar with it, this is a daily calendar born from the Cute Overload website.

If Cute Overload ever joins forces with StuffOnMyCat.com, there will be heaven to pay. But while I admit to enjoying this neotany, I'm not its ideal demographic. According to a piece in the New York Times, the deepest diggers of all things cute are women between 18 and 34. Web expert (and man) Henry Copeland says, "For these women, recently graduated from college and sitting in grim corporate America, Cute puts them in touch with their nonwork selves."

Okey-dokey, though I've always feared meeting my nonwork self in a dark alley.

Thankfully, there is a mildly snarky site that has spun off from the intentionally tortured syntactical cuteness of I Can Has Cheezburger? It is EngrishFunny.com, which specializes in "Engrish Pictures and other Funny Engrish Mistakes in English from around the world."

This is an ongoing riff on the idea of books like Chinglish (put out by my publisher, Gibbs Smith). I gave a copy of the book to a friend who had just returned from teaching in China for the last two years. He made polite amused noises. Maybe I should have gotten him a Cute Overload calendar instead? (Dang it, are they STILL sold out?)