Portland Biker Is Up and Run— er, Pedaling

As the 1984 edition of Bill Walton can testify, nothing could be finer than bicycling in the great Pacific Northwest. Just breathe in those electric streetcar fumes! To honor our two-wheeling heroes, Portland Biker awaits you.

Rudy Is Not Every Day a Shooter

Rudy Fernandez is Spanish. That means that he isn't aware that when American professional athletes refer to themselves in the third person, they are mocked and skewered. It also explains why today's Oregonian quoted Fernandez as saying:

"Rudy is not everyday a shooter. He's defense. He's passes. He's assists."

Guess what? As a foreign national, Fernandez gets a free pass. Speaking of free passes, here's Fernandez getting an alley-oop from Sergio Rodriguez in the recent win against the Timberwolves.

As reported on OregonLive a while back, Fernandez was asked whom in the NBA he most wanted to go up against. The Spaniard singled out a fellow Spaniard.

"Pau [Gasol]. I've never played against him, only on the same team. I want to put points on your face."

Last Thing: In the first minutes of the fourth quarter against Orlando, Fernandez had three steals, two three pointers, and he drew a charge. Oh, and two assists. (Remember, he's passes.)

Brandon Roy: Untucked (and he brought doughnuts!)

Minnesota Timberwolf (and trick-shot artist) Kevin Love has either coined a phrase or introduced me to a cliché. Asked about being a starter, Love (right, with Kevin McHale) answered, “I just have to keep fighting and working and bringing in my doughnuts and stuff like that.”

More on that later, but in case you missed the Trail Blazers' overtime, cardiac-arrest inducing game against the Houston Rockets, it ended like this: With less than two second to go, Brandon Roy hit a turnaround jumper to put the Blazers up by two. We won! But then Yao Ming immediately scored, was fouled, and hit his free throw. We lost!

But with .8 of a second to play, Roy— oh, just watch it.

Blazers win! Man, Roy really brought the doughnuts on that one. (This also reminds me that the next time I want to celebrate a moment of great import, I need to quickly untuck my shirt.)

Sacré Bleu! Nicholas Batum Is Infuriated

Nicholas Batum is hopping mad, and I don’t blame him. The Portland Trail Blazer hails from a country that understands the importance of an engaged citizenry. After all, the voter turnout for the French presidential election of 2007 was 84%! That crushes the usual U.S. voter turnout numbers, though perhaps this year will be an exception.

But based on an Oregonian poll of the Trail Blazers voting, perhaps not. The on-line version of the article doesn’t have these specifics of player preferences:
McCain: Joel Przybilla
Obama: Jarryd Bayless, Channing Frye, Greg Oden, Travis Outlaw
Decline to State: LaMarcus Aldridge, Shavlik Randolph
Foreign Nationals: Rudy Fernandez, Sergio Rodgriguez (Spain), Batum
Will Not Vote: Brandon Roy, Steve Blake, Ike Diogu

"Will not vote"? How about "Does not care"? Brandon Roy said he won't vote for personal reasons. And Steve Blake stated that he never votes, but that he always supports whomever wins.

Arg. The only thing curbing my shame for these guys is the fact that they’re both class acts… who both need to think a LOT harder about what it means to be a responsible citizen. To get the bad taste of disengaged millionaires out of my mouth, here's a highlight reel of Batum against the Spurs this weekend. (How much do you want to bet he voted last year?)

Outlaw Oops

You might say that I'm impatient for the NBA season to start. In anticipation of it, here's Sergio Rodriguez oop-ing Travis Outlaw on two consecutive possessions last year. (The reaction of the guys on the Blazers' bench is classic.)

Why Kevin Martin Is a Bad Person (Evidence to the Contrary Notwithstanding)

When Kevin Martin of the Sacramento Kings dunked on Greg Oden he won a $1,000 bet from teammate Mikki Moore. (The bet was on who would be the first to do so.) This is objectionable for two reasons:
1.) Gambling is bad.
2.) He dunked on Greg Oden. (Announcer: “Zzzz, blahblah—OH WHAT A MOVE!”)

ADDENDUM (10/28/08): The New York Times revealed that in the following game against the Clippers, Ricky Davis offered $500 to the first player who could dunk on Oden. It's a trend! Anyway, the Kings lost thanks to the Portland Armada of Sergio Rodriguez and Rudy Fernandez.

Spanish Portland

Highlights of Rudy Fernandez's Sacramento game are in, including an eerily familiar alley-oop from Sergio Rodriguez. Further, both oops are carbon-copies of the one the two Spaniards executed last night against the Golden State Warriors just before halftime.

In less exciting news, Fernandez sprained his ankle and left the game last night, starter Steve Blake is out with a strained hamstring, starter Martell Webster is out with a broken metatarsal, Brandon Roy didn't play as he's coming off knee surgery... but at least it looks like Channing Frye will be back for the season opener. Oh, and Greg Oden rules.

Spanish Portland

The Portland Trail Blazers crushed the Sacramento Kings last night in an exhibition game. Though the game was not televised, there were numerous sweet assists from Portland's resident Spaniards, namely Sergio Rodriguez and Rudy Fernandez. Stuff like this:

"Awesome, babe, awesome!"

Spanish hoopster Rudy Fernandez is joining the Portland Trail Blazers this season. Don't get me wrong; just because I live here doesn’t mean I’m some myopic, hometown fan.

Actually, it does. And my myopia has really kicked in since seeing Fernandez slam on Dwight Howard at the Olympics.

Gotta love how the Spanish-speaking commentator switches to English for his, "Awesome, babe, awesome!" replay analysis.